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Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back (2001) Quotes on IMDb: Memorable quotes and exchanges from movies, TV series and more.
Jay & Silent Bob's Super Groovy Cartoon Movie DVD - SIGNED BY KEVIN SMITH.
- Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back Bluntman Hat Prop Replica - Diamond Select - Jay and Silent Bob - Prop Replicas - You can't fight crime without the proper headgear! Cover your dome with this official baseball cap, based on director Kevin Smith's crime-fighting duo, Bluntman and Chronic! This black, faux-leather baseball cap features Bluntman's trademark ears and has an adjustable strap, so one size fits all. It may not offer much in the way of protection while battling evil, but dang if it.
- Diamond Select Toys Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back Minimates Series 1 Box Set $19.99.
Enryu, a bodyguard/shinigami from a Bleach Filler Arc. One wonders how a Silent Bob would release his zanpakuto. He eventually does, and his voice is approximately four octaves above a seven year old girl's.
He doesn't say much, but when he does, it's quite the revelatory utterance! The Jay and Silent Bob Silent Bob Pop! Vinyl Figure features the likeness of actor, writer, and director Kevin Smith.
Directed by Kevin Smith. With Jason Mewes, Kevin Smith, Ben Affleck, Jeff Anderson. The comic 'Bluntman and Chronic' is based on real-life stoners Jay and Silent Bob, so when they get no profit from a big-screen adaptation they set out to wreck the movie.
Jay: All you motherfuckers are gonna pay. You are the ones who are the ball-lickers. We're gonna fuck your mothers while you watch and cry like little, whiny bitches. Once we get to Hollywood and find those Miramax fucks who is makin' the movie... we're gonna make them eat our shit, then shit out our shit, and then eat their shit that's made up of our shit that we made 'em eat. Then you're all you motherfucks are next. Love- Jay and Silent Bob. Jay: I am the master of the C.L.I.T. Remember this fucking face. Whenever you see C.L.I.T., you'll see this fucking face. I make that shit work. It does whatever the fuck I tell it to. No one rules the C.L.I.T like me. Not this little fuck [referring to Silent Bob ] Jay: , none of you little fucks out there. I AM THE C.L.I.T. COMMANDER! Remember that, commander of all C.L.I.T.s! When it comes down to business, this is what I do. I pinch it like this. OOH you little fuck. Then I rub my nose with it. [deleted scene ] Hooker #1: Hey, little man! You want some of this? Hooker #2: How 'bout you, big boy? Hooker #1: You got 50 bucks, we can get NASTY. Jay: Oh, yeah? How nasty? Hooker #2: As nasty as you want to be, papi. Jay: Oh, all right. Well, first, I want you to tongue my bung, while you juggle my balls in one hand, and play with my asshole with the other, but don't stick you're finger in. Then I want to pinky you while I stick in your fuckin' friend's brown, while Silent Bob watches, and fuckin' spanks it in a Dixie cup. After that, I want to smell your titties for a while, and you can pull my nutsack up over my dick so it looks like a bullfrog. Then I want you to fuckin' flick my nuts while your friend spanks me off in the same Dixie cup that Silent Bob jizzed in. Then, we throw the Dixie cup out. [stunned silence ] Hooker #1: Oh, that's it, honey! I quit! This job just passed the point of no return ! [both hookers leave ] Jay: What? You said "nasty" ! [to Silent Bob ] Jay: Man, chicks in Hollywood are so stuck-up. Jay: [singing] Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, / Mother, mother fuck, / Mother, mother fuck, fuck / Mother fuck, mother fuck, / Noise noise noise, / 1, 2, 1, 2, 3, 4, / Noise, noise noise / Smokin' weed, smokin' wizz, / Doin' coke, drinkin' beers, / Drinkin' beers, beers, beers, / Rollin' fattys, smokin' blunts, / Who smokes the blunts? / We smoke the blunts. / Rollin' blunts and smokin'... Teen #2: Uh, let me get a nickel bag. Jay: [singing] / Fifteen bucks, little man, / Put that shit in my hand, / If that money doesn't show, / Then you owe me, owe me, owe, / My jungle love, yeah, / Owe-ee, owe-ee, owe, / I think I want to know ya, know ya, / Yeah, what? Teen #1: What the hell are you singing? Jay: You don't know "Jungle Love?" That shit is the mad notes. Written by God herself and sent down to the greatest band in the world: The mother-fucking Time. Teen #2: You mean the guys in that Prince movie? [Silent Bob points to the two teens ] Teen #1: Yeah, Purple Rain. Teen #2: Man, that shit was so gay - fucking eighties style. Banky: Stop the movie? What are you, crazy? Jay: All these assholes on the internet are calling us names because of this stupid fucking movie. Banky: That's what the internet is for. Slandering others anonymously. Stopping the flick isn't gonna stop that. Jay: This isn't fair. We came to Hollywood, I fell in love. Fuckin', we got shot at, we stole a monkey, and I got punched in the motherfucking nuts by a guy named Cock-Knocker. Banky: You know what? I feel for you boys, I really do, but Miramax - you know, Miramax Films - paid me a shitload of money for Bluntman and Chronic. So it occurs to me that people badmouthing you on some website, is NONE OF MY FUCKING CONCERN ! Silent Bob: Oh, but I think it is... We had a deal with you, on the comics remember, for likeness rights, and as we're not only the artistic basis, but also obviously the character basis, for your intellectual property, Bluntman and Chronic. When said property was optioned by Miramax Films, you were legally obliged to secure our permission to transfer the concept to another medium. As you failed to do that, Banky, you are in breach of the original contract, ergo you find yourself in a very actionable position. Jay: Yeah. Whillenholly: It may not be my way, but damn if there doesn't go one happy family. All right, gang, let's just shoot some tear gas into the diner, and then when the guys come out with the monkey, we'll... Fuckbeans. That was them, wasn't it? Devil Jay: [appears out of nowhere] Mua-ha-ha-ha! Man, what the fuck are you waiting for? She went for the set up. Reach in your pants and pull your cock out, bitch! Girls like that kinda shit. Devil Jay 2: [appears out of nowhere] Mua-ha-ha-ha! Right about here is where the angel's supposed to show up and tell you NOT to pull your dick out, but we bitch-slapped that motherfucker and send him packing, so it's smooth sailing. Let it rip boy... [Both devils disappear ] Angel Jay: [with a black eye, appears out of nowhere and singing] Jesus loves the little children... [Stops singing ] Angel Jay: Oh sorry I'm late. So what's the deal here? [looks down at Jay's erection ] Angel Jay: Oh shit! Don't tell me your thinking of whipping your dick at that fine piece of woman, are you? [Jay nods. Angel slaps Jay with his harp ] Angel Jay: Tell you what... Look over at Silent Bob and see if he thinks that a good idea to whip your dick out. [Jay looks at Silent Bob with a questioning look. Silent Bob shakes his head ] Angel Jay: That's it boy, put the dick down. You gotta go from the heart, yo. No little perv-bullshit's gonna work for this one. Be smooth. Be Don Juan de la Nooch. Now I gotta beat the shit out of those punch-sucker little bitches. Remember: Don't pull your dick out 'till she asks, or until she's sleeping. BOOOONG... [disappears ] [last lines ] Jay: [clears throat] And I'll be, like, "What, you don't know fuckin' Jay and Silent Bob? The fuckin' mack daddys of fuckin' Jersey?" And she'll be, like, "Oh, I've read on the Internet that you's guys are a couple of little [emphatically to Silent Bob ] Jay: fuckholes !" [both laugh ] Jay: Don't you never say an unkind word about the Time! Me and Silent Bob modeled our whole fucking lives around Morris Day and Jerome. I'm a smooth pimp who loves the pussy. And Tubby here is my black man servant. What? [Willenholly and the Utah police confront Jay and Silent Bob ] Sheriff: Are you fucking crazy? Now they may be gay, but that's not their son. That's the ape. Whillenholly: I think I would recognize an ape if I saw one, okay? And the only thing I do recognize right now is the political fiasco I'm about to avoid here by letting this butt-fucking Brady Bunch go. Jay: So all we's gotta do is stop this fuckin' movie from getting made ! Holden: Yeah, and forego the hundreds of thousands of dollars you would be entitled to in the process. What are you, fucking retarded? I mean, I don't think I'm alone in the world in imagining this flick may be the worst idea since Greedo shooting first. You know it, but... a Jay and Silent Bob movie? Feature length? Who'd pay to see that? [Holden, Jay, and Bob look into the camera ] Justice: Hi, I'm Justice. Jay: And I'm so fucking yours. [Justice is almost repulsed when Jay makes a quick save ] Jay: Oh, Hi, I'm Jay and this is my hetero-life-mate, Silent Bob. Justice: It's nice to meet you. Jay: Justice, that's a nice name... [aside ] Jay: Jay and Justice sitting in a tree, f-u-c-k-i-n-g... Jay: Holy fuck, is that monkey waving at us? Oh, shit, It understood us! Maybe it's some kind of supermonkey. What if there's more supermonkeys up at that lab? [shouts ] Jay: What if they're creating an army of them? Holy shit. It must be a conspiracy like in the X-Files... *Roswell* style! This little monkey could be the fuckin' damn dirty ape responsible for the fall of the human race. In this world gone mad, we won't spank the monkey- the monkey will spank us. And after the fall of man, these monkey fucks'll start wearing our clothes and rebuilding the world in their image. Oh and only those as super smart as me will be left alive to bitterly cry - *you maniacs*! Damn yous! Goddamn yous all to hell ! [Jay tries to talk his way out of a drug bust ] Jay: What? I've got a wiping problem. I just stick those little pieces up my brown-eye and bam! I get no stains in my undies. What you don't believe me? Check this shit out. Spread my cheeks, so he can see the fucking stink nuggets ! [Jay and Silent Bob are hitchhiking on a road late at night ] Jay: I can't belive this shit. Five hours and not a single ride. Every day people hitch to Hollywood to stop studios from making films about 'em, but when you and me try it, it's like we're trapped in a fuckin' cartoon. [the Mystery Machine van from the Scooby Doo cartoons pulls up alongside Jay and Silent Bob ] [first lines ] Silent Bob's Mother: Bobby Boy, stay here while mommy picks up the free cheese, kay? Here, this will keep the sun out of your eyes. [puts a baseball cap on his head backwards ] Silent Bob's Mother: You be good, now. [walks in store, then Jay and his Mom arrive ] Jay's Mother: Alright, don't you fuckin' move you little shit machine. Your Momma's going to try to score. Passerby: What the hell? 'Scuse me. Who's watching these babies? Jay's Mother: Uh... the fat one's watchin the little one? Passerby: Oh yeah, nice parenting. Leave 'em out here like that and see what happens. Jay's Mother: YO, FUCK YOU YOU FUCKING SQUARE ! Passerby: Oh yeah, keep on truckin' ! Jay's Mother: [to infant Jay] Did ya hear that fuckin' guy tellin' me how to fuckin' raise ya? What a motherfucker, man! Who the fuck does that fuckin' guy think he is? What's the worst fuckin' thing that can fuckin' happen to ya just standing outside a fuckin' store, right? Fuck ! [Jay's mother walks into the record store, leaving infant Jay and Silent Bob in their strollers ] Baby Jay: [his first words] Fuck... fuck... fuck... fuck... Jay: You know, maybe one night me and Lunch Box are out we're mackin' some chick and shit, and she's, like, "Ooh, I want to suck youse guys' dicks off," and she's, like, "What your names?" And I'm, like, "Jay and Silent Bob." Reco'nize. And she's like, "Oh, I've read on the Internet that fuckin' youse guys are a couple of little fuckin' jerkoffs." And then she goes and sucks two other guys' dicks off instead. Well, FUCK that. Jay: If today is Tuesday and the movie starts filming on Friday, we have... [counting his fingers, holds up ten ] Jay: ...eight days. Holden: Uh, three by my count, but close. Jay: Right. My bad. Three days to stop that fucking movie from getting made. Come on, Silent Bob. We're going to Hollywood ! Fred: [Jay and Silent Bob have hitched a ride with The Mystery Machine] Great now we solve the mystery of the hitchhiking ghouls. Pull off their masks and let's see who they really are Velma: I don't think they are masks Daphne: And I don't think they're hitchhiking girls either Velma: Ghouls you fuckin' moron. Not girls Shaggy: The only real mystery here is why we take our cues from a dick in a neckerchief Fred: [Grabs Shaggy by the collar] Keep it up beatnik. I'll feed you to the fucking dog. Daphne: [yells] I can't take all this fighting Jay: Yo! Youse guys need to turn those frowns upside down. [He pulls out a bag of marijuana joints ] Jay: We call 'em doobie snacks [Jay and Silent Bob have eluded capture by pretending to be lovers and disguising the ape as their son ] Whillenholly: Well it isn't my way but I'll be damned if their doesn't go one happy family. Okay men let's shoot some tear gas into the diner and when they come out we'll... Fuck beans! That was them wasn't it? Whillenholly: [after Jay and Silent Bob struggle to escape through a sewer tunnel] Wow! That was an incredibly daring escape ! [takes his jacket off handing it to the Sheriff ] Whillenholly: Okay, here's the deal. You and your men stay up here, when I corner them, I'll call for back up. I'm counting on you, Sheriff. [hugs him ] Whillenholly: You've taught me so much. Whillenholly: [Jay and Silent Bob are hiding in the diner] They've got a monkey in there? Sheriff: An ape. Whillenholly: What? Sheriff: An orangutan's a member of the great ape family, it's not a monkey. Whillenholly: Look, who's the Federal Wildlife Marshal here, me or you? That's what I thought.','url':'http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0261392/quotes','og_descr':'Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back (2001) Quotes on IMDb: Memorable quotes and exchanges from movies, TV series and more...